2010

I havent posted in a while..there has been alot of sadness to deal with. Friends have lost loved ones, a new life was cut short, and two more were lost before having a chance. Personally, I think I have been sad for a few months now, so much loss and disappointment.. but am looking towards 2010 with a renewed hope. Witnessing the strength that has been shown to me by these families experiencing such devastating loss and the FAITH that things will get better has renewed my own faith that everything happens according to a plan. A plan that I do not make and that I never did. Wishing everyone out there a wonderful start to a new year.

Not much to tell..

Nothing much going on yet. There is talk of a meeting with parliment this week, to decide on laws concerning IA. Probabaly good for the future of adoption. However, I have not heard of ANY mention of the 65 waiting families. Of course the hope is that we will be exempt from the new laws and somehow, these adoptions will be allowed to complete. Even though B is back with his birthmother, I am determined to help the children. Follow this link to Ebay for some Kyrgz items for sale as part of a fundraising effort by John Wright for the children. There are a couple of really cute nativity sets and some bookmarks, and ornaments. There's also a 'pie in the face' challenge going on, visit Joh's Act of Kindness blog. Five Dollars can do SO much for them.

As for me? J is sure I will receive another referral when things get moving. And that I am still considered one of the 65. I still believe my child (or children) is/are waiting for me in that little country. I am still sad but can now look at the pictures I have of that beautiful little boy and remember. Often the memories make me smile.

Getting there... B :)

Life goes on

Life goes on.. I am still not sure what the future holds for me, whether my child is still in Kyrgz or not. There is still no news to what will happen since I have lost B and have no referral to complete. My agency is still trying to figure out how it will play out. There is no way to tell right now what is going to happen with the waiting families, or if I will still be considered part of the group. I am still hopeful that I will be given the opportunity to accept another referal (or two) and complete with my original group.

I am happy to have been given the chance to love a little boy and help with his care until his birthmother could take care of him. I am sad that he will not be with me..and hope only the best for him and his birthmother.

Thank you

Thank you all, my friends. I find it amazing that in this cyber world, we have such connections to those we have never 'met' - in any common definiton of the word. I have followed others journeys to completion, some still in progress, and some just starting a new journey. Everything seems to continue.. as it should. I dont know if it has really sunk in that I have lost him forever. He has been like a dream for more than a year. It was my worst fear (her coming back to take him). I am out of town for work and know that this weekend will be rough when I get home.

I am angry now..angry that those in another country arbitrarily stopped everything when we were so close to being together forever. Angry that they are still making families wait to be together. Angry that some families have had to make heartwrenching decisions. Angry that the children are the ones who are suffering the most.

I have been told by my agency that I may still be able to complete an adoption there. I was nearly done, all the paperwork is there, and had been 'referred a child'. I dont know what the government knows, they may have no idea that this 'referred child' is gone now. They (J & T) are checking to see what can or needs to be done. I know there are children who need familes and I may not be in the right frame of mind to make the decision today, but I will not deny a child who needs one, a home with me. Maybe this was His plan all along. To open my eyes and get that internal flame a-burnin'.

Devastation

My friends I received some devastating news today. B's 16 year old birthmother (probably 17-18 now) returned sometime over the last two months and reclaimed him. I received an urgent email from J with the news and to call her asap. My journey to him is over. I dont know what I am going to do next. The latest news has been so encouraging the PM is onboard with completing adoptions that are already in progress, we were all so hopeful. And now, I dont know what is going to happen. I think I am still in shock and am in no position, emotionally, to make any decisions about what do do next. J had some suggestions and to be honest, I dont know if I will continue down this road or not. Is my child, the child truly meant for me, still in that little country? Perhaps. Was it my job to love B with all my heart, for just this little while? I dont know. The tears are coming again.

Everyone Pray

Tonight (well, tomorrow in Kyrg) the PM is meeting with Parliment and we are told he will be discussing IA. So all day today and all night tonight we are praying and lighting candles, working on mojo, getting our chakras in order, and ensuring our karma is good, all in the hopes that we will fill up his heart with the children's plight and get the ball rolling again. My candles are lit, please light one at your house for B and all the other babies waiting for their forever families to bring them home.

A little Nugget more

Someone on the group heard from their agency that the PM will be discussing IA on Oct 2. Yay. Jeez I hope this means something good. I have to get my fingerprints redone soon and my I171H is ok for a while but I am going to go ahead and get it extended so there isnt any question of validity. J doesnt know yet what else I will have to get renewed. Its been so long since I started the paper trail I really have no idea what I need to get done. We are still being a bit quiet about some of the information we just want to make sure that there is nothing that could potentially seem inappropriate.

Thank you everyone for your continued support. I will share more as I learn it.

Whats the hold up!

So there are some things going on that I am not at liberty to talk about yet. We have been asked not to mention it but its good. I can talk about some Senators stepping up and writing a letter asking for an audience with a very important official. There was some success with that.

Its so hard to be optimistic with all that has gone on the past year. We have had ups and downs and always hoping that what things are said will come true. I really still dont know what is going to happen in the next few weeks but I am hopeful that things will be back on track and moving soon.

Nothing on the domestic front either. I am really at a crossroads here with what my end goal is. I have a lot of soul searching and contemplation on what I really want to do. I know I want to be a Mom. That much is a given. I love a little boy in a foreign country with all my heart. Will that be enough? I dont know.

We will see what tomorrow brings.

Article about the Kyrgz 65

We still have no word on movement for those of us waiting to complet our children's adoption from Kyrgyz. The Prime Minister is scheduled to visit the US on Sept 23-25. We have started a letter writing campaign to our Senators requesting their intervention and asking them to try to get a moment with the Prime Minister on our behalf. The article posted last week on Eurasianet includes interviews with a few of the waiting families. The stories are heartbreaking and echo the feelings and situations of all of us. Please feel free to copy the link and email it to your officials in the hopes that the chatter on capitol hill will get to the Prime minister and he will use his power for the good of the children.
http://www.eurasianet.org/departments/insightb/articles/eav091009.shtml

Nothing new on the domestic front either. J responded to an email I sent her requesting the status (domestic is new for my agency) and she indicated nothing yet.

Thank you all for your support. I am sorry I dont keep this up as well as I would like. I will try to do better.

Hugs

Nyet

Nothing is going on on the adoption front and to be honest, nothing going on on the life front. It seems like the stall in Kyrgz has stalled everything. My birthday came and went with no hoopla (thats good) and I havent had a vacation all year (thats bad). Ive been waiting to use all of my vacation for B's arrival since there isnt a maternity leave for adoption. Since we dont know when anything will move I have to do something. I hadnt realized how time moves on but I have just been doing the same thing. Checking the boards. Watching the email. Praying and hoping. Waiting Waiting for something, anything to happen. Now that I have come to that realization its time to do something about it. I have my vacation time requested and dont know where yet but I am going to DO something.

Update from J

I got an email today from J (ABC Adoptions) that my profile is ready and they are getting ready to do some marketing and uploading of PAP profiles to the website. Mine happens to be one of them. I dont know if you are aware or not, but my international agency (Internation Child Foundation http://childfound.org/) is beginning a domestic US program aka (ABC). woo hoo! I am saving some of the cost by sticking with them. I dont anticpate a 'quick' match but that's ok, since it gives me more time to get the funds together.

Still no news from the Kyrgz front. They had the election and we sort of knew who the 'winner' would be. Parliment takes the summer off so nothing will be presented to them til at least September. There is talk that some, for lack of a better term, 'ammendments' were drafted in hopes of changing the law in Feb that halted everything. From my understanding they are only written for the 65 waiting families but in reality, if we dont make it to the top of the Parliment's list for Sept we are probably looking at a long winter of waiting.

Thank you, my friends, for all your ongoing support. I agree with all of you when you tell me 'Why dont they see how this is affecting the children, and let you go get them.' Believe me. I completely agree. B is now 13 months old. I think about him every day. I hope he is doing well.

A call to action and an article

NCFA (National Council for Adoption) is pleased to announce that the introduction of the Families for Orphans Act(H.R. 3070*) and the Foreign Adopted Children Equality Act(S. 1359 and H.R. 3110), both of which are a result of NCFA´s collaborative involvement in the Families for Orphans Coalition.** Both proposed acts represent a potential victory for millions of vulnerable children from around the world who need a permanent family and for child welfare advocates who proactively work globally to address the permanency needs of children.
I also joined a new facebook group. Pass the FACE act. Go to the following link for more information about EACH and the legislation that they advocate for internationally adopted children.
http://www.equalityforadoptedchildren.org/legislation/legislation.html

The article on Kyrgyz was about the children and the Kyrgyz government adopting the Hague Convention. J summarized it well. This is from her weekly newsletter. See B's blog for the full article.

KYRGYZSTAN
There was a rather lengthy news report, but it did not
say anything new... there is discussion of adoption, and a strong defense of
adoption by the representative from Bishkek who came to visit the US, but
nothing concrete has been done. It was mentioned that the 65
waiting families are essentially ready to complete, but no timeframe
given. The Parliament is still discussing the Hague Convention and
remarked, again, that adoptions cannot be completed with either an inter-country
treaty or Kyrgyz become Hague compliant. It is hard to decipher
under what principle they will allow the waiting children to be united with
their US families, or when. If the election goes smoothly, I hope they
will address the question and resolve the issue of the waiting families
immediately thereafter. However, there are no guarantees that the
political situation will lend itself to adoption matters following the
election. The US is cultivating a better relationship with Kyrgyz,
however, and that helps. Although we cannot directly tie adoption
to diplomatic relations, it is certainly true that if a rapport and good
working relationship exists, it benefits
adoption.

As most of you know

As most of you know I am getting ready to start this all over again as I plunge into my 2nd adoption, this time domestic. In preparation and support for this new adventure, I now have a new Wiget on my blog. The Chip In website allows for friends and family to contribute, via PayPal, to my next foray into motherhood. I have a bit to go and was asked to find a way to allow friends and family to help with the funding. So here is my plea. If you want to contribute, click the link, every dollar counts! I am also going to start making bookmarks again. I have been so busy at work I have had no time for 'fun stuff'. I enjoy making bookmarks and earrings and am going to make sure to make the time to do something fun. Stay tuned. B

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July everyone. No real news to speak of we got an email update with pretty much what we already knew. The note did include mention of a possible proposal on our behalf, maybe being presented to Parliment. I had thought this was done (previous post) but we havent heard anything. Not extremely encouraging but at least we are still on the radar. Presidential elections are July 23rd so we are still on the assumption that we wont hear anything til after then.

So to pass the time, I am getting a little remodeling done. It all started with my desire for a new refrigerator. I wanted a bottom freezer with water and ice in the door. So I needed to hire a plumber to add a water line. That lead to moving the laundry room and making a little office for Mom. Then I decided, since the market sucks and I wont getting a bigger house any time soon, I also needed to carve out space for me to have an office. When B comes home I will be working from home *big smile*. So I am losing my walk in closet...*frown*. Its 5x10 so it will work just fine for an office, near the potty, can shut the door for conference calls. So where will I put my clothes and shoes, you ask? I am getting 2 closets built in the bedroom which will actually work better for me. Suprisingly, its not making my room noticibly smaller. Its still a good sized room woo hoo. The next two weeks will be a mess in my house but then we will be more comfortable. Oh, I am getting the new refrigerator too!!!

I will keep you posted.

Here we go again

Well it looks like we (B and the 65) are on the agenda for the KG parliment meeting tomorrow. Well, more like 'today' since they are 13 or so hrs ahead of us. Jeez I hope this turns into something good. The Yahoo Group has been a buzz with up to the minute entries from all of the news reels we watch. I have been looking too but havent seen anything that they havent already mentioned. http://eng.24.kg/ (is in English) and http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=ru&u=http://www.kenesh.kg/&ei=RRY3SriZNYaEtwfLl_DcDA&sa=X&oi=translate&resnum=1&ct=result&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dkenesh%26hl%3Den is the translated link to Kenesh, one of the other news sites. I will keep you all informed when I know something else.

Since tomorrow is today over there it is also B's 1st birthday. He is a year old. I am sad to be missing this milestone but have faith that he will be here, with me, for his next birthday and every one after that. Its hard to believe it but its been over a year since I started this journey and I remember EXACTLY where I was when I got the call from J with his referral. I was so optimistic and thought things were moving so quickly. I got his referral and I hadnt even fishished my dossier! I worked so hard to get everything done and ready. When he was 3 months old (in October) I made my first trip. I though he would be home by Thanksgiving, Christmas at the latest. The delays were already beginning but the process hadn't come to a screaching halt until after my visit. We are still in the same situation waiting and waiting for something to happen. I was fortunate to visit him again in January and he was doing well. I havent seen him since but have gotten a couple of pictures. Not the same, but something. Thank you so much for all your support and prayers for me, and Porkchop and all the other kids that are waiting to come home.

This Just in:

Hello All,
I got this from one of the News websites I have been watching (along with the entire 65 group)

'Jun 23, 2009 at 14:00 pm deputies of parliament of Kyrgyzstan with the participation of lawyers from the United States will discuss the issue of international adoptions. '

Press-service of the Zhogorku Kenesh

I hope this turns out to be something good.

Ok so the news is flying

There have been numerous international articles written on the results of the DC meeting. ALL GOOD. The delegates have stated wonderful sentiments of children having better lives here than in the orphanages. Babies getting medical care that has given them new, healthier lives. The delegates that came to the meeting have become great advocates for us as we wait for something to get moving. They mentioned how we encourage and keep their heritage alive with books and stories of Kyrgyz, all things that we (the waiting families) have already committed to continuing. It really feels like positive things are happening. I still think they will wait til after the election (in July) to make any decisions so we are still waiting. J sent an email saying that our incountry source was told that things will start up again in 10 days. I am not as optimistic about that one. We have heard that before. I am still hanging in there.

I find that shopping therapy is good for the soul and I got some smokin deals at a Macys clearance center. I bought lots of different sizes of pants and long sleeved shirts to take to Kyrgyz when I go. I suppose the girls there were wondering why I bought 6 pairs of red pants (who needs 6 pairs of red pants..right?....) and sweaters and long sleeved tshirts with no regard for size. Most everything was under $3 the pants were $1.50.. cant beat it.

Not a whole lot going on

Well, its been a while since I posted and, unfortunately, there really isnt anything new to say. We are still waiting for a decision on when (or if) the 65 waiting families will be finalized and we can go get the kiddos. The meeting went extremely well and the team of families was instrumental in changing the perception of IA from negative to positive for one of the delegates. They have responded via email to one of our spokesfamilies and said they would do everything they can to reunite us with our children. The yahoo group is listing that IA is on the agenda for the Parliment in June. We dont know if they will actually decide anything or if it will just be discussed. Even if they do decide to get things going we dont really anticipate any actual progress or any ability to travel until after the presidental election in late July. I am emailing J to see if B can visit the orphanage and get some updated pics of Porkchop. I am sad that he will be turning 1 without me. June 25 is coming up fast and there is no way he will be home for it. I will post more as soon as I know anything else.
Thank you for your continued support and prayers.
Hugs
Beth

A successful meeting

A group of families both current and waiting spoke to the group in Washington on Friday. They posted their thoughts on the group last night and from their words everything went very well. (See B's blog) We all had very high hopes that the officials would be moved by the stories and love we have for these children. They were. They could see the love of a mother and her 8year old adopted son sleeping in her lap. They heard from that same mother the only answer, that matters to the question 'Why?' that answer - 'Because I love her'! This is the same answer we all have for that question. They saw the pictures and stories of the children that we all gave to put faces to the waiting children. The received books showing how other children, who have come home already, are thriving with their families here. I believe this will truly make a difference in getting the process moving. I hope to hear more news soon.

As far as my plunge into Domestic? I am working on my intro letter to birthparents and my blog with the rest of the 'get to know me' information. I am taking this a little slowly, because of the finance challenge and I want to make sure this is the right time for me and for B.

Meeting this week

There is a delegation of Kyrgyz officials visiting Washington this week. The waiting 65 have our own delegation to meet them. The meeting is on the 29th (Friday). The families are gathering information and families that have brought children home are helping with stories and photos. C has gotten a wonderful book together and we have all submitted stories of our children and their needs.

Familes were invited to speak on behalf of the children and the families and I am happy that T was one of them. Our group is made up of first-time adoptive parents, and adoptive parents that are on their 2nd or 3rd or 4th adoption. We are all from different backgrounds, have different experiences, different professions, single, married.. sooo different but all brought together in this little bubble of waiting.

Pray for the safe travels of the families and that the delegates open their hearts and hear the love and longing we have for these children. Our hope is that the delegates will use their voice to get the process moving.

Considering another big step

First off. I want it to be perfectly clear that in my heart I know B WILL come home, its just a matter of when. He has stolen my heart and will keep it forever. This state of limbo has given me more and more conviction and intensified my desire to be a mother. I had a wonderful day with my Mom and her unwaivering support has been a blessing. We talk and talk about what it will be like when he comes home, wonder why its taking so long, what it means for us, and how much I rely on her. She is not only my mother, but one of my closest and dearest friends. And now the punch line. I am starting to explore domestic adoption. I have always thought my little family would include 2 children. The planner in me had a schedule all figured out- B would be home in December (in time for the tax year) and I would use the credits and the reimbursement from my company to get a good chunk of the fees covered for the second. And then.... well you know what has been going on. I need to find out some things with my agency, they dont have a domestic program and I want to make sure starting a new process doesnt interfere with B's adoption. I dont know what docs I can still use or if I need to start all over. And then, where the money is going to come from is a big ? too. I am probably crazy to start this all again with the current economic time but someone out there needs me as much as I need them and I'm gonna do everything I can to find them. Just like before, I have no preference.. boy or girl. That's my story....and I'm stickin' to it.

PS.. L, told ya so.... hehe congrats

the glimmer flickers

We got news that adoption was not discussed during the parliment meeting last week. There is a holiday next week so we are, again, waiting for 'our day in the spotlight'. In J's update this weekend she still feels that the belief of the powers that be (aka the MOE) is that they will start completing the in process families' adoptions, 'they indicate that it will take about a month to catch up with the matched waiting families' (quoted from J). Jeez I hope its true. If it is true then there is a bit of hope that B will be home very close to his 1st birthday. (June 25). I dont know if its just me or not but this whole process is totally overwhelming.
I am definitely overdoing it at work to keep distracted, and man am I getting tired. We have a big release of a software upgrade and creating that training, performing that training (with the rest of the girls) and traveling full time to customer sites is just getting to be too much. I am so fortunate to have 'the girls' on the team to bounce ideas off of and get a different perspective. I am starting to get really good at asking for help. I suppose that means I am 'growing', the control freak in me is lessening, perhaps to prepare me a little better for motherhood. It still sucks though. I dont want to be an exhausted wreck when it finally comes time to get on a plane and bring back the most precious thing in the world. Anyway, when I know something you will too.

a glimmer?

I cant say much, since nothing is verified as true. If you have been following this journey at all you know that we hear some rumors and they turn out to be untrue. I am a member of a yahoo group for other waiting parents and even though I dont talk much there, I find an enormous amount of comfort and information. We are from all over the US and even abroad. Anyway, there is a rumor that there is some 'positive' action going on. I got an email from J yesterday. She talked to T and without getting to detailed (remember they asked us not to release anything publicly until it is confirmed by the Kyrg govt) things may start moving for us waiting families. Maybe as soon as a month from now. Just moving, not get on a plane. But, at least I will be able to tenatively book the plane. I am hoping for a confirmation from the US Department of State, who has been working for us as well. Believe me-when I get that confirmation of action this blog will be updated. I am so blessed to have friends (virtual and warmblooded) who are sharing this journey with me encouraging positivity and supporting me. You really dont know how connected people are until you are put in a situation where you REALLY need that connection and your friends are there. I am trying to be strong and positive. (I cant have an emotional break right now.. i may have to update my medical docs-lol) I've been doing ok. Focusing alot on work (fortunately theres lots to do), relaxing, and taking time to let go of those things I cannot control. I think of it as 'delegating' I can handle those things within my control and those I cannot are handled by the only One who can.

On a happy happy note. Jellybean has made her (Yes L, I said 'her') debut on the world wide web in her first baby bump shot. The credit goes to her hubby and it is beautiful. I am looking forward to the 'growth'.
Love to all
B

Jeez

Jeez, there is still nothing to report. They had their meeting and discovered some discrepancies. We really have NO idea what is going on. Nothing solid is coming from the powers that be, so we all just keep waiting to hear something solid. B has turned 10 months old without me. I am still hopeful that we will hear something sooner rather than later. I hope we will hear something positive. T came back from her visit with M and had some pics. B has 2 little teeth! So cute. He looks good. I have not been able to stop my shopping habit however. I went to PS for work and there is an outlet mall there. Needless to say there were some smokin' deals at C#$ters and I couldnt help myself. I did get some bigger sizes 12-18 months they should be ok. Fortunately, I dont have to worry about weather since its warm here all the time. Keep the prayers coming!

Still waiting

Well there isnt much to report. Some talk has been occurring over there but nothing concrete or final. The hope is that they are still talking and working on making a decision for the pipeline families. We are again told we will hear something 'hopefully this next week'. There is a conference call on the 15th and I will let you know what happens during that. Please continue to pray for B and all the other familes. Also pray for T, she is over there now visiting her daughter M. Pray that she stays safe and gets back home safely. Hopefully she will have time to check in on the babies and give us a healthcheck report when she gets home. This was in the Kyrgyz news on April 8:
At least 225 children of Kyrgyzstan adopted by foreigners within past 2 years
08/04-2009 15:06, Bishkek – News Agency “24.kg”, By Nargiza YULDASHEVA
At least 225 children of Kyrgyzstan were adopted by foreigners within the past two years, the First Vice Prime Minister Uktomhan Abdullaeva said at the joint session of the three parliamentary committees on Wednesday.
Most of these children (164) were adopted by the United States citizens, then goes Sweden (21), Israel (20), the Southern African Republic (5), Italy (1) and Germany (1).
Most often foreigners adopt special needs children, while Kyrgyz citizens for certain reasons never apply for adoption of children like that.
“We have information about children adopted to U.S. or Canadian families. They are safe and sound,” Abdullaeva said when asked about cases of deaths or mistreat of Kyrgyz children.
Right now we are planning to elaborate a data base of all adopted children and in the future to establish a child adoption institution.

On an extremely happy note RFBF is now baby Jellybean. L, I am keeping you, your hubby and JB in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs

9 Months today

B is 9 months old today. He was supposed to be home. Way back when I started this process, everything was moving so smoothly. I started in February, got my homestudy done by the middle of April, picked Kyrgyz as my adopted country the beginning of June and got my referal for B the beginning of July. I was really oblivious to the political goings on in the country as I focused on the dossier and getting it completed. Nothing seemed to have stopped last summer, families still went to visit and pick up their children. October finally came and B was 3 months so I could go visit him. And then.... the stall. I was so happy to have the opportunity to visit him in January all the while thinking..'its just a bump in the road' they will start moving again. After my wonderful visit I get home and things were not any better.. and still arent. Its frustrating even more now because Kyrgz is going to have a presidential election in July. Please pray that the babies are home before then. Hugs to all thank you so much for your support.

Got a couple pics

This was in my email last night. He looks good (except, of course for the fashion statement) He's not wearing anything I brought him. I am hoping he is growing, but it's hard to tell.
There has been lots of talk on the yahoo group but none of us have heard much concrete. As usual. We are supporting each other and even if I dont talk much on the group their words always let me know there are others in the same boat I am. Frustrated, ticked off, worried, impatient, aprehensive.. and lots of other adjectives I dont have enough effort to type. lol. I am holding on, waiting to see what happens at the end of the month. There are reports on this website http://eng.24.kg/ that we have been watching. There have been some articles with some negative comments about 'foreigners' and illegal but we have it on good authority that it was a copy vs an original document and it was a while ago. So we should hear something by the end of the month.

On another note. Woo Hoo for RFBF. Got word today that they have made themselves comfortable and have signed a 9month lease. Yay 'L'.. hugs to you and your hubby.
B

Small note from J this week in her update

Kyrgyz Republic
T spoke with Ambassador Z Friday -- but other than saying they are all working on it, I do not have anything of substance. The investigations that have been going on seem to center on Bishkek; I have not heard of any in Tokmok. But they seem to be reviewing ALL the adoption documents, so maybe they just have not gotten there, yet.
The Kyrgyz president, according to The Economist, has given the US six months to renegotiate the base. We will see what happens with that; while it does not affect adoption directly, any swing between Russia and the US from inside Kyrgyz can influence how the Kyrgyz government feels about the US in general.
As soon as I have any specifics, will let you know.
I have not heard more directly from the DOS; but have heard from others that they are very engaged in trying to get children home. Whether they can get this done before the end of this month remains to be seen. Praying.

Still no news

We still havent heard anything on the adoption front. Still waiting til the 20th or 31st not sure. We were hoping for pictures but nothing there yet either. J is still working on trying to find anything out. She has to talk to T and T has to wait for Ambassador Z to get back to her, then there is the time difference. When it is nighttime here its daytime tomorrow there. Challenging all around but would really like to know whats going on. There is so much unsubstantiated information..is political aid from a country (other than the US) the reason we cant get the babies home? Have we been following the rules while the Kyrgyz government had no intention of following through? There has been alot of press lately. Some things are being uncovered in the investigations in Kyrgyz regarding corruption and some people involve in adoptions, years ago, not following the rules. Some of the other families have been asked to give copies of payments made to the Kyrgz government. I havent been asked and am pretty sure J would let me know if they want anything from me. Just still hoping something will start moving.

No news til Sunday

There is nothing new yet. J is busy with a seminar this weekend so she will send out her update on Sunday. Our incountry coordinator B, is supposed to go get pictures this weekend. We probably wont get anything from him til next week. I hope Porkchop is growing and healthy. I sent J an email yesterday asking 'what happens next?' I wanted a time line, and did she think it would be long process once they start signing. She thought that after my letter is signed it would be about 2 months of court and paperwork then I could travel, jeez I hope they sign by then end of March or at least start. B will be 1 the end of June and I really want him home for that. I know that there are other families who are not going to be able to be with their chidren for their 1st birthdays and that makes me sad.

One more thing. I have a 'virtual friend' out there that, probably without her even knowing it, makes me smile every time I read her blog. Anyway, please pray for her and RFBF that they make themselves comfortable and grow.

JCICS update

The JCICS put an update on their website today. Not much info but it does seem like they are pretty happy with what they arent telling us, I guess we will find out when we find out.

The DOS had a meeting with the agencies (of the families waiting) and requested some caution when publishing information they hear from sources in Kyrgz. There has been alot of misinformation (aka lies) told to.. well pretty much everyone. J sent a quick update the end of last week and asked that we not post anything until its confirmed. She will, absolutely, keep those in our little ICF family updated with all she knows, good or bad, but will not be able to share everything 'rumored' publicly and has asked that we not post anything either. I am respecting her wishes but will say that the latest conversations seem promising but no champagne or letter or airline booking yet. I think I have forgotten what I will need to do when I get 'the call'. My documents are up to date (so far) nothing expiring til June so I think I am ok. Mind you, I dont think things will move very quickly once they start so I am preparing for 'baby steps' (pun intended) when things get going. There are 65 of us (5 in my little ICF family) that are all going to sprint out of the gate when we start getting letters and I hope that little country is prepared for us to come. Wouldnt it be great if we could all just go at once and take over the place... lol.

Anyway here's the latest from the JCICS:
March 3, 2009 - Joint Council is pleased to confirm that U.S. Embassy officials in Kyrgyzstan met late last week with the Vice Prime Ministers Office regarding the 65 in-process intercountry adoption cases and the future of intercountry adoptions from Kyrgyzstan. At this time Joint Council cannot confirm the exact contents of the conversation.

Further, we can confirm that police investigations are occurring in Kyrgyzstan in regards to accusations surrounding child buying for intercountry adoption. No further information on this subject is available at this time. As soon as more information is available Joint Council will release it on our website.

My son is 8 months old

B turned 8 months old on the 25th. Nothing solid on the news front, we are still waiting to hear anything. I went into his room, its ready and waiting, and so am I. I hope there is some positive news soon.

Update

The latest update from J last week isnt all that great when I really get into it. J had a good point in her weekly email today. The Kyrgyz government may want a 'Treaty' but the US Dept of State pretty much already has a 'treaty' its called the Hague Convention, and doesnt really want to go outside of that on a percountry basis. The hope is that the Kyrgyz government will see the need for completion for the families in progress. J made excellent points regarding the support and fees we have already paid to the government. We have followed all of the rules set by the officials during our entire process so far. T is working on a letter to that effect. She is in contact with the Ambassador and the hope is that the Ambassador can make some push to 'grandfather' those families thru using the old laws and get our children home. Again, we are being told next week for more information. The press release last week gave the Kyrgyz government a deadline of March 31. Another deadline but, setting a deadline isnt a guarantee that they will keep it.

The latest from J

I got an update from J on a press release from Bishkek. I dont have the link for the report so it is posted here. The overall sentiment (from my perception) is that the Kyrgz government wants to have a treaty with those foreign countries it will allow children to be adopted to. J felt it would make sense to have some sort of interim agreement between the US and Kyrgyz to allow for the already matched children to be 'grandfathered' in and complete the adoptions considering the expense the families have already paid in fees to the government. We arent sure what type of treaty or agreement they are trying for but the deadline in the press release is March 31 (11 days after the initial March 20 deadline for the Committee's findings). J thinks that any permanent treaty would take a few months to determine from country to country. T talked to Ambassador Z and she said to wait a couple days and she would find out what kind of agreement the would want. So I guess we wait.. some more.

Kyrgyz Republic Government Addresses Regulation of
Adoption Procedures

BISHKEK (AKIpress) – Kyrgyzstan's prime minister, Igor Chudinov, has signed a Kyrgyz Republic (KR) government directive addressing child adoption issues. This was reported today, February 17, 2009, by the KR Government Press Service.

The document in question was approved with a view toward regulating the procedure for adoption of children who are citizens of the Kyrgyz Republic, and improving the Kyrygz Republic's legal framework in that area.

Given those considerations, and in accordance with Article 130 of the Kyrgyz Republic Family Code, the Government of the Kyrygz Republic resolves:

To declare invalid Section 3. "Adoption of Children Who Are Kyrgyz Republic Citizens by Foreign Citizens" in the "Statute Regarding Rules for the Placement of Children Without Parental Guardianship for Adoption by Cititzens of the Kyrgyz Republic, and by Foreign Citizens", as approved by KR Government Resolution No. 121 on February 22, 2006, "Regarding Confirmation of the Statute Regarding Rules for the Placement of Children Without Parental Guardianship for Adoption by Cititzens of the Kyrgyz Republic, and by Foreign Citizens".

Simultaneously, it is resolved that adoption of children from the Kyrgyz Republic by foreign citizens or stateless persons shall be authorized only if an international treaty exists between Kyrgyzstan and the foreign state.

The KR Ministry of Education and Science and the KR Ministry of Labor and Social Development have been assigned to submit by March 31, 2009, following established procedure, their proposals regarding improvement of those statutes that regulate child adoption.

Pursuant to this document personal responsibility for compliance with KR legislation in adoption matters is placed upon the heads of state administrations at the level of the republic's regions and districts.

It should be noted that this directive becomes effective immediately on the date of its official publication.

AKIpress

The UNICEF factor

This is a link to the UNICEF official postion on international adoption http://www.unicef.org/media/media_41118.html . To quote this document 'For children who cannot be raised by their own families, an appropriate alternative family environment should be sought in preference to institutional care which should be used only as a last resort and as a temporary measure. Inter-country adoption is one of a range of care options which may be open to children, and for individual children who cannot be placed in a permanent family setting in their countries of origin, it may indeed be the best solution. In each case, the best interests of the individual child must be the guiding principle in making a decision regarding adoption' Why then, are we famlies who have been through all the documentation requirements, met all the qualifications, expended individual humanitarian aid to the orphanages that our children are growing up in, being denied this exact option the UNICEF stands by. Why are Hague Accredited agencies not being allowed to continue with the adoptions that are in progress. The US department of State is involved to try to get things going again but we dont know, concretely, when things will happen. Meanwhile our children are getting older and more institutionalized.

Kyrgyzstan is not part of the Hague Convention community of countries. So UNICEF in its mission has lobbied to make Kyrgystan a Hague Country. Mind you, I dont think its a bad thing at all. In the long run it will be better for the children. It just sucks that they have to get involved NOW, couldnt they have waited 6months, until Ben was home? Here is a link to the Wikipedia definition http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hague_Convention_on_Protection_of_Children_and_Co-operation_in_Respect_of_Intercountry_Adoption it has a pdf of the entire convention. The main objectives of the Convention are:
-to establish safeguards to ensure that intercountry adoptions take place in the best interests of the child and with respect for his or her fundamental rights as recognized in international law;
-to establish a system of co-operation amongst Contracting States to ensure that those safeguards are respected and thereby prevent the abduction, the sale of, or traffic in children;
-to secure the recognition in Contracting States of adoptions made in accordance with the Convention. I suppose my frustration is echoed by those who have gone before me when other countries have started their process to become Hague Accredited in the midst of their adoptions. I will continue to wait anxiously for news, knowing that I will hear nothing until March 20.

Not good news

I got an update from my agency and from the Dept of State. They say that the Kyrgyz government has created a commission whose responsibility it is to redefine policy. They are planning on giving their findings on March 20 to the government. What does this mean?: well it sucks but it means that they are not going to process ANYTHING til after March 20. With this news I am very sad and worried. I think that now, with this new news that Ben will not be home before May. They also said that they will, most likely, waive the 30day wait and will hopefully gear up court to process multiple families at once. Wewere also told that families should be getting info and measurements on him regularly. We dont know what else is to come. We are also not sure what impact the closing of the US Airbase at Manas Airport will be. Noone know but my agency thinks that these two issues are separate and doesnt think that they will impact each other.

I am learning that international adoption is full of bumps and detours. This is taking alot longer than I anticpated when I started 1 year ago.

Nothing, Nada

So nothing new on the adoption front. Still waiting to hear if the letters are being signed. I dont know what is going on but I am just waiting. Waiting for some good news.

I am also now on Facebook. Apparently Facebook is the place to be. Its not good enough that I blog now I need to be on Facebook. Its pretty cool though, and it seems that everyone is on there. I already have a few friends and have had someone throw beads at me (for Marti Gras) and start a pillow fight with me. I am waiting for a few friends that I havent seen for a while add me to there list so we can get back in touch. Its definitely got some 'six degrees of separation' potential. I will keep you posted on this latest endeavor.

I've been away from here a while

I know I have been away from the blogging world for a while but there really isnt anything concrete to say. My letter hasnt been signed, I havent had court and we dont really know when it will happen. We (all of my fellow adoptive parents) have heard multiple times that 'next week they will start signing letters'. These comments havent been truthful so I am hesitant to allow myself to believe this latest update. I want to believe what they are saying in Kyrgyzstan but I am a little 'gun-shy' so to speak. From what J says in her update to us this week, they are reviewing the dossier and our coordinator in country said he was certain that T's letter will be signed next week. I am very happy for her but sad for me at the same time. J says that they are prioritizing special needs children to get them home so they can get the medical care they cannot get in Kyrgz. I am fortunate that B is healthy and terrified that something will happen that noone is expecting. I try not to think about it but, lately with UNICEF 'trying to help' and comments that Americans are only taking the healthy children, I am scared that they will take him back and give him to a Krygz family. My mind tells me that there is no way they would do that but that doesnt stop the fear in my heart.
Below is what we heard yesterday from J.

Hi All,I talked to T a few minutes ago. This is the message...B literally saw that family dossiers were being reviewed at the MOE. He said he is certain they will sign the letter for T next week. They are prioritizing children with special needs who need medical attention.They do not plan to stop adoptions.Any families with documents submitted to court previously will have to go through court again. The dates of the progression of your approval have to be in the order the MOE dictates. Although the previous MOE administration was indifferent, now they are strict. The dossier and child's documents have to enter court AFTER the date the MOE approves your dossier. Most interesting is this... today's news is that the MOE will stay in charge of adoption. That about knocked me off my chair. Apparently some higher-up did not like the idea of the Ministry of Physical Culture/Dept of Social Protection taking over adoption and refused to sign off on a transition. So we and your files are all staying put in the MOE. This kind of suggests that my suspicion of a power struggle going on behind the scenes between the depts was true. T thinks this is what Ms S really wants. Who knows.

Short weekend

We didnt get any new news today, probably wont hear anything til Monday. J sent out her weekly update with roughly the same info she sent us earlier this week. (See the previous post here). I did decide to take the advice of some of the other waiting families and give myself a break this weekend. I had taken two books on my trip to Kyrgyz , The Host by Stephenie Meyer (of Twilight) and The Treasure by Iris Johansen. I finished The Host, really good by the way in an 'invasion of the body snatchers' sort of way, on the flight home. So with my free time this weekend I decided I wouldnt read anything 'productive' or anything that would 'teach' me anything, just a book for its entertainment value. I read The Treasure. It was pretty good. I have read lots and lots of her books but they started to read the same so I stopped for a while. Dont get me wrong, I like her books especially those that have Eve Duncan (a forensic sculptor). Anyway, I havent read her for a while and it turned out to be a pretty good book. It was a love story, with a little sex thrown in and of course a conflict of some sort before the happy ending. All in all, a good book. I have to go to Wisconsin tomorrow.. brrr to teach a class so my weekend is pretty short. I like keeping busy. I may need to get another book at the airport. Hmmm

Obsessed--and a nugget of news

I know I am not the target audience for this series of books (have you heard the term 'tween'?). Anyway I have read all of them and they are really pretty good.. ok really good. So good that I have seen the movie twice and am not opposed at all to seeing it again.. I have the 'twilight' soundtrack on my Ipod and am constantly going to stepheniemeyer.com to find out the latest on the next movie (New Moon--starts filming in March 09). It seems I have a second obsession, B is my first of course, but I need some distraction. The books are 1-Twilight 2- New Moon 3-Eclipse 4- Breaking Dawn. It is of course a bit of a love story (between a 17 y/o girl and a vampire) with a bit of suspense and drama intertwined. There are parts of the books that just grab you and you cant put the darn things down.. I was up til 1 or 2 in the morning STILL reading. They are big books but a pretty easy read. Put it to you this way, I travel for my work, so I am on a plane almost every Monday and Friday and have 2 or 3 hrs of downtime those days and some evenings to read. I finished all four books in 2 weeks. I had to buy one in Wisconsin and got the others at the airport as soon as I fished one. They were suggested by a friend of mine (who also travels--and is not a 'tween' either) and I have gotten at least 1 of my friends hooked. He went through all of them in a WEEK! He is also the one that has seen the movie with me twice, hehe.

On another note... got news today that some people were fired in Kyrgz (the Minister and Vice Minister of the MOE ) these were the people (rumored) contributing to the delays we have been seeing. I dont know if its true or not but they were rumored to be against IA. We dont know what this means yet or if more will be fired but are told that the adoption files are being transferred to the Committee for social Protection by the end of Feb. I dont know what this means either. We are hoping for some more info on that, either this weekend or next week. The next thing is that the Krygz Ambassador (to the US) is heading to Kyrtz now and has IA adoption on her agenda, so we should hear in a few more days what she finds out.

This must be said..Our agency and coordinators (both here in the US and in Kyrgz) are awesome. They have been working tirelessly for us and I know the frustration (I am living it too). Its a great feeling when you shoot them an email and can say .. 'I'm not happy but thank you for continuing to try, I appreciate it' and really mean it.

Always Hopeful--

No news

No news yet. J has started sending us waiting families updates alot more often we got one yesterday and today. T talked with someone at the Prime Ministers office and to J at the MOE. The woman at the Prime Minister's office told her that she didnt know J wasnt signing letters and to call her back tomorrow. J said that they are also considering becoming a Hague country, so she suggestd T call her back next week. T was going to make some calls to Senators and the woman at the Prime Minister's office to see what the latest is. J also suggested T talk to the MOE who, rumor has it.. and only rumor, that the MOE isnt very keen on adoption. She will try to talk to them. I have every confidence in T, she turned a Senator around with her explanation and advocacy for the children, I hope she can advocate for the children again with the head of the MOE.
Do you ever think...... I'm gonna look back on this and Laugh about it-someday? Well thats I'm thinking.. soon, I will be playing with my son laughing at something funny he does and I will think--Last January I was so frustrated waiting but here he is...... home.

2nd post of the night

Ok, so I just came from Lori's blog and I must say if you havent visted it before its in my list of faves and is one you cant miss. My dear Lori you are soooo funny. I just watched the Principals office and kept on backtracking the posts I missed while I was in Kyrgz visiting Porkchop. The dog thing was hilarious and I must say that I think I have heard the cat 'situation' in my neighborhood with the stray cats. Thank you so much for laugh.

Work update

Those of you who have come along with me throughout this LONG journey know that my current job consists of alot of travel in the US. As everyone knows, alot of travel and a baby at home is not the desired scenario for parenthood. My company has been working through some changes (the economy of course) and we were told at the end of 2008 that we would be losing 3000 jobs this year. Dont worry, I am not part of the 3000. We had an announcement today that makes me feel a little better. A new realignment puts all of us that work on the same product together. Yay. The division is going to grow too. We are anticipating adding and hopefully there will be something that will be less travel. I have traveled for almost 5 years with this job and I love it but my life is about to change for the better and I dont want to travel anymore.

Home safe and sound

I am home finally. This trip was a bit longer. I dont know if having a night's layover is good or bad. On the way there.. I was happy to have a night to rest and meet up with T. Traveling together is definitely benificial. We got to know each other and compare stories and knowledge. The orphanage was the same, very warm. I didnt notice that any of the babies were sick, no coughing or sneezing or anything. I didnt really get to see anyone other than Porkchop but stole glances and got pics of some of the babies for families with my agency. I wish I could have taken a picture of every baby there and sorted them out when I got back but I couldnt. I know there are those of you who are waiting for news and I wish I could have gotten more for you.

Back in London

The internet didnt work the entire time I was in Kyrgyz. T is still there til Sunday but I am in London getting ready to get on my plane to Houston. I am exhausted this trip. The only good thing is that I got to see B for 4 glorious days. He was much more active this trip (he was just turning 3 mos when I went before) we laughed and laughed. He likes it when I shake my hair at him.. hes also ticklish and has this wide open laugh that is soooo cute. He is still little (only 12 lbs, 26 inches long) but the orphanage director said they were just starting him on porridge so he would be gaining fast. The clothes I brought him were HUGE on him (6 months) so he will have to grow into them. I wish I'd had his weight before I left for this trip. For those of you who out there who are considering an interim trip, If you can afford it.. go, absolutely go. Its hard to leave of course but I think I had myself all worked up, I didnt have a good cry til I was on the plane coming to London. Anyhoo, my incountry coordinator said there were 2 more boys (1 month old and 1 year old) that were just surrendered and he was going to ask J to find them parents. He is very optimistic and told T and I that it will get back to normal just may take another month or so. I hope he is right. He said to look at March for going back to bring B home. At this point though, I am not counting on anything til I have a letter and a court date.

We are here in Bishkek --Travel lesson learned

After a nap 16hrs lol. We are up for the day in Bishkek. Its 2am here and neither of us can go back to sleep ... we are watching bowling and let me tell you its riveting.. just kidding. We have all our baby stuff divided and ready to go.
We had an unpleasant situation in the airport during this trip. Both of us booked the flights separately through British airways (or in my case Continental) to London and then BMI to Bishkek. We had to get our bags when we arrived in London then recheck them on BMI. Here the very hard (and expensive) lesson we learned. BMI will only allow 20kg of baggage per person. We each had an extra bag so ended up having a total of 45-47kg of baggage. Its 15 pounds per kg that you are over 20. This turned out to be about $500 each for the extra 27kg we each had. We saved money on the ticket but they still got us anyway with baggage charges. Lesson learned: Book the whole trip together and check the bags all the way through on your airline when you leave the US. We both took the blankets on the plane, hehe, and those $500 blankets are going to the orphanage too.

Hello London

Well, after a nap, I am up for the day in London. T isnt here (at the hotel) yet but I saw that her flight landed about 45 minutes ago so she should be here soon. A little tip for those of you traveling through London and need to stay overnight. There is a Hilton within walking distance of Terminal 4. I came in on Continental and we arrived at Terminal 4. I was a bit worried since I have 3 big bags and am traveling alone but they have carts and it was an easy walk (felt good after a 6 hr flight) to the hotel. I got to the hotel around 7am and they let me check in early, really early since normal check in is 3pm. The electricity here at the hotel is compatible with the US so I dont need to worry about blowing up my computer. I used Hilton Honor points for all of our 'layover' stays. The sun is shining, its going to be a good day.

3 days

I will be on my way on Thursday.. leaving bright and early at 7am and flying to Newark NJ. From there I fly on to London and meet up with T. I am so excited. Its bittersweet though cause I know I wont want to leave him again. I will be strong though.

I am going back

I was so determined to 'tough it out' and wait until I could go back to pick up Porkchop. But fate, has intervened. As most of you know I travel for my job going onsite weekly to a different locations to train customers on our reporting software and imaging workstations. Well, it turns out that 2 sites ended up canceling, so the next couple of weeks were going to be home weeks for me. I decided today to book some vacation and personal time and hop on a plane.. I was able to use points to get me to London and will meet up with T there we will fly together to Bishkek. We had talked about the possibility of me coming too but before now I didnt think I had any chance of getting the time off. I am so very excited now. We talked this evening and I will use more points (Hotel) for our overnight stay in London. She has already booked a double room at Demi House (more fate) so I will stay with her and split the cost of the week. I am taking the blankets my Aunt crocheted and the fleece blankets I made for them. I am also taking some clothes that I think Porkchop will outgrow before he comes home for good. More later

Other Blog

I am touched that some of you would like to keep up more closely. I will need email addresses from you, Christina and Lori, you two should be getting an invite. Email me from the profile area of the blog.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone! Its 2009, 'the year of Porkchop'. I didnt do anything to interesting last night. I was out of town, in St Louis, working and got back around 11:00. Mom and I were watching TV and didnt even known it was midnight until we heard the people in the neighborhood lighting fireworks. The year of Porkchop has finally arrived I was hoping it would have been 2008 but no luck. The ups and downs are really trying my patience. The ever changing 'move forward' date has left me wary and shaking my resolve of things to come.. I am very cautious about what I say to friends that ask 'when is he coming home'. I am, by no means, giving up on the HOPE that he will be coming home soon I have enough Faith for that feeling to remain strong. My patience is being tried by the neverending date of 'movement'. We have, yet again, another date. The middle of January the politicians are getting back to work. Maybe we will see some action, maybe it will take a little longer than that. Either way, Porkchop will be home in 2009, so that makes this New Year the best I have ever had.