Not much to tell..

Nothing much going on yet. There is talk of a meeting with parliment this week, to decide on laws concerning IA. Probabaly good for the future of adoption. However, I have not heard of ANY mention of the 65 waiting families. Of course the hope is that we will be exempt from the new laws and somehow, these adoptions will be allowed to complete. Even though B is back with his birthmother, I am determined to help the children. Follow this link to Ebay for some Kyrgz items for sale as part of a fundraising effort by John Wright for the children. There are a couple of really cute nativity sets and some bookmarks, and ornaments. There's also a 'pie in the face' challenge going on, visit Joh's Act of Kindness blog. Five Dollars can do SO much for them.

As for me? J is sure I will receive another referral when things get moving. And that I am still considered one of the 65. I still believe my child (or children) is/are waiting for me in that little country. I am still sad but can now look at the pictures I have of that beautiful little boy and remember. Often the memories make me smile.

Getting there... B :)

Life goes on

Life goes on.. I am still not sure what the future holds for me, whether my child is still in Kyrgz or not. There is still no news to what will happen since I have lost B and have no referral to complete. My agency is still trying to figure out how it will play out. There is no way to tell right now what is going to happen with the waiting families, or if I will still be considered part of the group. I am still hopeful that I will be given the opportunity to accept another referal (or two) and complete with my original group.

I am happy to have been given the chance to love a little boy and help with his care until his birthmother could take care of him. I am sad that he will not be with me..and hope only the best for him and his birthmother.

Thank you

Thank you all, my friends. I find it amazing that in this cyber world, we have such connections to those we have never 'met' - in any common definiton of the word. I have followed others journeys to completion, some still in progress, and some just starting a new journey. Everything seems to continue.. as it should. I dont know if it has really sunk in that I have lost him forever. He has been like a dream for more than a year. It was my worst fear (her coming back to take him). I am out of town for work and know that this weekend will be rough when I get home.

I am angry now..angry that those in another country arbitrarily stopped everything when we were so close to being together forever. Angry that they are still making families wait to be together. Angry that some families have had to make heartwrenching decisions. Angry that the children are the ones who are suffering the most.

I have been told by my agency that I may still be able to complete an adoption there. I was nearly done, all the paperwork is there, and had been 'referred a child'. I dont know what the government knows, they may have no idea that this 'referred child' is gone now. They (J & T) are checking to see what can or needs to be done. I know there are children who need familes and I may not be in the right frame of mind to make the decision today, but I will not deny a child who needs one, a home with me. Maybe this was His plan all along. To open my eyes and get that internal flame a-burnin'.

Devastation

My friends I received some devastating news today. B's 16 year old birthmother (probably 17-18 now) returned sometime over the last two months and reclaimed him. I received an urgent email from J with the news and to call her asap. My journey to him is over. I dont know what I am going to do next. The latest news has been so encouraging the PM is onboard with completing adoptions that are already in progress, we were all so hopeful. And now, I dont know what is going to happen. I think I am still in shock and am in no position, emotionally, to make any decisions about what do do next. J had some suggestions and to be honest, I dont know if I will continue down this road or not. Is my child, the child truly meant for me, still in that little country? Perhaps. Was it my job to love B with all my heart, for just this little while? I dont know. The tears are coming again.

Everyone Pray

Tonight (well, tomorrow in Kyrg) the PM is meeting with Parliment and we are told he will be discussing IA. So all day today and all night tonight we are praying and lighting candles, working on mojo, getting our chakras in order, and ensuring our karma is good, all in the hopes that we will fill up his heart with the children's plight and get the ball rolling again. My candles are lit, please light one at your house for B and all the other babies waiting for their forever families to bring them home.

A little Nugget more

Someone on the group heard from their agency that the PM will be discussing IA on Oct 2. Yay. Jeez I hope this means something good. I have to get my fingerprints redone soon and my I171H is ok for a while but I am going to go ahead and get it extended so there isnt any question of validity. J doesnt know yet what else I will have to get renewed. Its been so long since I started the paper trail I really have no idea what I need to get done. We are still being a bit quiet about some of the information we just want to make sure that there is nothing that could potentially seem inappropriate.

Thank you everyone for your continued support. I will share more as I learn it.

Whats the hold up!

So there are some things going on that I am not at liberty to talk about yet. We have been asked not to mention it but its good. I can talk about some Senators stepping up and writing a letter asking for an audience with a very important official. There was some success with that.

Its so hard to be optimistic with all that has gone on the past year. We have had ups and downs and always hoping that what things are said will come true. I really still dont know what is going to happen in the next few weeks but I am hopeful that things will be back on track and moving soon.

Nothing on the domestic front either. I am really at a crossroads here with what my end goal is. I have a lot of soul searching and contemplation on what I really want to do. I know I want to be a Mom. That much is a given. I love a little boy in a foreign country with all my heart. Will that be enough? I dont know.

We will see what tomorrow brings.