Thank you all, my friends. I find it amazing that in this cyber world, we have such connections to those we have never 'met' - in any common definiton of the word. I have followed others journeys to completion, some still in progress, and some just starting a new journey. Everything seems to continue.. as it should. I dont know if it has really sunk in that I have lost him forever. He has been like a dream for more than a year. It was my worst fear (her coming back to take him). I am out of town for work and know that this weekend will be rough when I get home.
I am angry now..angry that those in another country arbitrarily stopped everything when we were so close to being together forever. Angry that they are still making families wait to be together. Angry that some families have had to make heartwrenching decisions. Angry that the children are the ones who are suffering the most.
I have been told by my agency that I may still be able to complete an adoption there. I was nearly done, all the paperwork is there, and had been 'referred a child'. I dont know what the government knows, they may have no idea that this 'referred child' is gone now. They (J & T) are checking to see what can or needs to be done. I know there are children who need familes and I may not be in the right frame of mind to make the decision today, but I will not deny a child who needs one, a home with me. Maybe this was His plan all along. To open my eyes and get that internal flame a-burnin'.