Monday, May 11, 2009

Considering another big step

First off. I want it to be perfectly clear that in my heart I know B WILL come home, its just a matter of when. He has stolen my heart and will keep it forever. This state of limbo has given me more and more conviction and intensified my desire to be a mother. I had a wonderful day with my Mom and her unwaivering support has been a blessing. We talk and talk about what it will be like when he comes home, wonder why its taking so long, what it means for us, and how much I rely on her. She is not only my mother, but one of my closest and dearest friends. And now the punch line. I am starting to explore domestic adoption. I have always thought my little family would include 2 children. The planner in me had a schedule all figured out- B would be home in December (in time for the tax year) and I would use the credits and the reimbursement from my company to get a good chunk of the fees covered for the second. And then.... well you know what has been going on. I need to find out some things with my agency, they dont have a domestic program and I want to make sure starting a new process doesnt interfere with B's adoption. I dont know what docs I can still use or if I need to start all over. And then, where the money is going to come from is a big ? too. I am probably crazy to start this all again with the current economic time but someone out there needs me as much as I need them and I'm gonna do everything I can to find them. Just like before, I have no preference.. boy or girl. That's my story....and I'm stickin' to it.

PS.. L, told ya so.... hehe congrats

5 comments:

Becky said...

Best of luck to you!

Lori said...

You're funny...we'll still see! :)

Hey...if you're interested in a domestic agency that I'm fairly familar with (our next option if InVitro didn't work out) email me and I'll send it to you...

For the record, I have no doubt that B will come home too. And I'm hoping SOON!

Christina said...

B will come home. It is just a matter of time. Domestic adoption definitely sounds like a good way to get a sibling for B. Keep us updated.

Sheri said...

Good for you!! Go for it!! What's important is being a Mom. Waiting in limbo is... debilitating to your soul. I have zero regrets - I always wanted two, too!! Best of luck!

Kimberly said...

HI Beth -
I'm taking the same plunge! I feel the same way - I've always wanted two and while I still believe we will get the kids home the longer the wait the more I feel like I have to keep moving - like Dori - "just keep swimming" ;-)